


Killing Time

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Agender Character, Cunnilingus, Genderqueer, Genderqueer Character, Genderswap, Leprechauns, Other, Rule 63, The Felt - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:39:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I get all sorts of satisfaction from it!" exclaims Clover. "It depends on the context, very much so. Only hearts with you. With everyone else it’s only red balloons or just clovers or else it’s plain old business!”</p><p>“I’m flattered.”</p><p>Clover leaps from one foot to another in a momentary, enthused jig, before bolting forward to grab your hand. You manage to grab your crowbar before following as ze down the corridor. If you wanted to stop zir, you could, but you don’t. You don’t have a lot to do right now, besides these frankly near-pointless rounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Killing Time

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that since leprechauns are a monogendered species, they'd work perfectly for agender characters. Sorry, no fuzzy penises, but rather going with stereotypical female genitalia here, hence genderswap tags (since they quasi-canonically have cocks). Pronouns are ze/zir, a singular gender neutral pronoun that's becoming more popular.
> 
> Thank you to stunrunner for edits!

Of course Clover finds you while you’re on guard duty. You nearly bump into zir as you turn the corner into the next hallway, but of course your namesake tool, lazily swinging with your stride, just misses zir. Lucky bastard probably found you as soon as ze decided ze wanted to see you, and zir grin reflects this wonderful coincidence. Ze’s always in luck.

“Not now,” you begin, but ze’s grabbing the lapels of your suit jacket and yanking you down the foot or so difference in height between you.

Awkwardly bent over, you try to swing your crowbar at them, a knowingly futile gesture. You miss them, and you expected nothing less, but it at least makes you feel like you’re trying to stop this. What you want isn’t what you should be doing, but Clover usually gets zir way, and what ze wants is definitely not what you should be doing.

“It’s been weeks since the Midnight Crew has tried to break in, and no one’s heard a peep out of them in the last few days,” Clover says. “Fin says they’re planning a heist on the bar next, too scared to mess with us.” Ze titters, a unique high-pitched sound that you oscillate between finding endearing and irritating, depending on your mood. Tonight, fortunately, it’s leaning towards the former.

“I know; Fin told me,” you reply, tossing your crowbar aside. It’s not going to help you right now. Once unoccupied, you place your hands on Clover’s cheeks, zir skin as fuzzy as your own, but somehow even softer.

“So you have nothing to worry about! And what could really happen to you while you’re with me?” Clover jumps up to butt zir head at you, momentarily rubbing zir nose against yours. It’s a ridiculous gesture, and you roll your eyes as ze falls back to the balls of zir feet. “Really you shouldn’t be concerned, you should be bored! Guard duty is rather dull, isn’t it?”

“What is it that you want?” You lean in, daring Clover to get to the point of what ze wants, but ze just wiggles out of your grip.

“No stealing kisses, Crowbar! You have to earn them.”

“You came looking for me.” You straighten up, adjusting the collar of your jacket back to its proper position. “You’re going to be more disappointed than I if I go back to my tedious task.”

“Oh, you’re almost as clever as I,” says Clover, too genuine to be derogatory. “So maybe I should offer you more. If you can answer my riddle.”

“Because you get a sick, erotic satisfaction out of making people’s minds twist themselves into pretzels trying to figure out your silly puzzles.”

“I get all sorts of satisfaction from it! It depends on the context, very much so. Only hearts with you. With everyone else it’s only red balloons or just clovers or else it’s plain old business!”

“I’m flattered.”

Clover leaps from one foot to another in a momentary, enthused jig, before bolting forward to grab your hand. You manage to grab your crowbar before following as ze down the corridor. If you wanted to stop zir, you could, but you don’t. You don’t have a lot to do right now, besides these frankly near-pointless rounds. Fin’s pretty reliable about predicting the Crew’s plans, and to be honest, you’re as bored as this mansion is vast.

Clover enters through the second door on the right, into a sitting room. The omnipresent tick-tock of the mansion’s thousand synchronized clocks follows you, a touch louder thanks to an ornate clock on one wall and a dark wood grandfather clock near the door. Ze kicks the door shut with a lively hop behind the two of you. Ze sits in the biggest armchair, feet dangling a few inches off the ground, swinging zir legs back and forth excitedly. You stand in front of zir as ze provides you with the inevitable riddle.

“Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. Whoever knows it, wants it not. What is it?” Clover looks up to you smugly, waiting for your answer.

It takes you a minute. Flipping through memories and thoughts, you wander to a recent bank job and it hits you.

“Counterfeit cash.”

“Oh very good!”

You kneel down. By now you’re used to this foreplay, so it’s tiresome, but the routine is almost comforting. You’re just glad you got this one. Then again, you always manage to, even if it takes some time. But it’s always been so one-sided.

“And I have one for you.” Clover regards you with curiosity, as if skeptical you can do it justice. “What has teeth but can’t bite?”

“A zipper, obviously,” Clover replies immediately, though it takes a moment more before the significance dawns on zir, by which time your hands are already sliding up under the bottom of zir jacket, finding the top of zir fly.

“Not even a kiss for me?” Clover teases as ze helps by squirming just enough to let you pull zir pants down past zir ankles to pool on the floor. Ze scooches to the edge of the seat and hooks zir thumbs under zir tight violet briefs.

“I’ll give you plenty of kisses,” you say, and demonstrate by planting one against zir bony knee.

“Yes, so very clever, Crowbar,” Clover pulls zir briefs down, and you move back enough to let zir pull them off entirely before shifting back in. “That’s part of what I love about you.” You can’t tell how sarcastic ze is, but as you give ze more kisses against zir plush green thigh, you don’t really care.

Clover giggles quietly as you move your mouth in towards zir crotch, moving slowly, though not glacially, because your desire is enough to push you on and keep you from just teasing. All’s silent except for Clover’s amused noises, now starting to bleed into the noises of one ever-so-slightly-aroused, and the tick-tock of the clocks in perfect synchrony.

When your tongue reaches the crook of Clover’s thigh, running right up along the soft outer fold of zir cunt, you catch zir high-pitched intake of breath. You languorously lick up, over the mons, and back down to the other fold. Clover shifts zir hips back and forth ever-so-slightly, twitchy with half-hidden impatience. You press your lips against the outer fold, breathing in zir subtle, sweet scent. 

You reach up with one hand and delicately spread the outer folds, revealing the ruffled, smaller ones between them. You reach out with your tongue, and delicately trace them before pressing in to gently suck on one of the folds. It already has the taste of Clover on it, and you release it only to send your tongue in further, finding zir dewy entrance. You adjust your fingers spreading zir so you can use your forefinger to stroke zir clit.

“That’s good,” Clover says lightly as you lick and rub in unison. “Not wasting any time, apparently? But Crowbar, we have all the time in the world to waste! Though I’m not complaining, mind you.” Ze titters again.

As you continue your ministrations, focusing on working steadily and skillfully, you feel like you’re going a bit slowly. You think of speeding up, but the rhythm feels just right, and you belatedly realize you’re in time with the clock, precisely one up-down motion per second. Judging by the sounds coming from Clover, muffled, you see as you glance up, by zir small hands pressed over zir mouth, the tempo is working quite well for them. Maybe this is always the pace you’ve taken and you just never noticed before.

Clover moans against zir hands again and an intoxicating mixture of arousal and cockiness shoots through your veins. You press harder with your tongue while you flick zir clit over and over with perfect timing. Ze squirms more insistently, so you grab zir right thigh with your hand to steady zir. Zir nook is dripping with zir juices, overpoweringly saccharine on your tongue, but you lap it all up, heady with knowing that just because ze’s lucky doesn’t mean ze’s always the one on top in the situation.

Despite Clover’s jitteriness, you manage to hold zir in place enough that you can keep up your work uninterrupted. Zir sounds get higher and higher as ze shakes more and more, until ze’s practically screaming, loud enough to echo through the room even with zir half-hearted attempt to keep quiet. You can feel zir cunt pulsing under your mouth as ze comes, and you keep rubbing with your forefinger until ze silences and slumps into the high back of the chair.

Just as you pull your mouth away, you hear the sound of footsteps. You scoot back and pull yourself to your feet, wiping your mouth off with a handkerchief quickly as Clover pulls up zir pants and calmly rezips them. The timing is perfect. But when is anything not, with that lucky bastard? At least you killed some time.

**Author's Note:**

>  _We're never done with killing time_  
>  _Can I kill it with you_  
>  _Til the veins run red and blue_  
>  _We come around here all the time_  
>  _Got a lot to not do_  
>  _Let me kill it with you_  
>  \- 400 Lux, Lorde


End file.
